The Super Bowl is gay

The Super Bowl will always be one of my fond gay memories. And for more than one reason.

The first time I kissed a girl, my then Secret High School Girlfriend (SHSGF), was on Super Bowl night. I asked my Mom if I could go to her house to watch the Super Bowl, and she hesitantly said yes. She was not fond of SHSGF and suspected something was “going on between us”.

Mom: “Are you and SHSGF and gay?”.
Me, unconvincingly: “No?”.

Of course we didn’t watch the game and I worked up enough courage to finally kiss her. When I got home my Mom sarcastically said “how did you enjoy the game?”. Ha ha, it was great!

Fast forward to 2012. Madonna was set to be the halftime entertainment. News of the halftime show was a welcome surprise as the last time I was interested in the Super Bowl was as a cover to see to my Secret High School Girlfriend, which coincidentally was not long after Madonna burst onto the MTV scene.

The reactions from boring American football fans were predictable.

Kelly clarkson and madonna wtf is it super bowl or gay pride lol

A boring football fan

Wow! I can’t wait to watch Madonna on the Super Bowl halftime show tonight! -Nobody

A boring football fan

This is gonna be the worst halftime show ever. Seriously? Madonna? Its the super bowl.

A boring football fan

But like me, there were others looking forward to what would surely be a spectacle…

Madonna! Super Bowl! 🙂

Raphael Stonem

I hope Madonna wins the Super Bowl.

Whorgito

I’m writing this post because YouTube correctly assumed I might want to watch the Madonna halftime performance and suggested it to me when I was there watching something else, probably TMJ stretching videos. Upon watching it again after a little over a decade I was surprised how well I thought it held up. If Madonna does anything well, aside from co-opting the work of young people of color, (ahem voguing and probably many other things), it’s live performance. And this one did not disappoint.

Nicky Minaj and MIA as flapper/cheerleaders, Cee-Lo as a drum major and then in a sequin robe, gladiators, a choir, and a guy who looked like Richard Simmons dancing on a tight rope. Gay. The cheerleading and marching band made it feel like the Gay High School I wish I had attended.

I found myself smiling almost the entire time, especially when I remembered I wasn’t watching a concert where Madonna fans were paying to see her, but a performance happening in the middle of the USA’s biggest Yee Haw Straight People event.

Reactions from the Gay Peanut Gallery were enjoyable.

Less than 1 minute in and this is the gayest Super Bowl half time show ever. #queeringthebowl

Corey Johnson

You know what’s gay? The SuperBowl. You know what’s gayer? Cee-Lo and Madonna at the SuperBowl. #SuperBowl #queeringthebowl

Legacy Russel

Werque the Druid Anti-Christ choir Mxdonna! You serve! You win!!! #queeringthebowl

Mx Justin Vivian Bond

The world’s oldest living cheerleader is turning it. History on parade! #queeringthebowl

Mx Justin Vivian Bond

And all the other witty gay commentary using #QueeringTheBowl. But enough with the commentary, you can decide for yourself about this moment in Gay Super Bowl history…

May you have an enjoyable Gay Super Bowl this year and every year.